We, as human beings, all crave change. For the rich it means a new car or summer home. For those on moderate income it means rearranging your furniture or searching craigslist for something new. For the sissies it means Burger King instead of Mickey D’s. For the brave it means stepping out of their comfort zone to pursue a greater calling. For the extreme it means moving far away, possibly to a place where they don't speak your language, to start all over again. For me it means bangs.
I have been toying with the idea of bangs for years now (there’s no need to rush change) but finally I got up the gumption to go through with it.
I was having a mom day... field trip, math work, arguing with kids… and was feeling the need to do something unusual that validated my existence as a person. I dont have the $80 to drop on a hairdresser and I needed something now so I told myself “I’ll just do it myself!” What’s the big deal? I’ve cut my daughter's hair, including bangs, a dozen times and it has come out great so I can handle this.
With my three year-old in the tub, looking on, I took off my glasses and moved in closer to the bathroom mirror. Little bits of water drip down my face from the portion of hair I had measured out to cut. With my little safety, craft scissors I steadied my hand and tried not to think about the risk I was taking (I’m a real adrenalin junky at heart). If I could have closed my eyes and still done a good job I would have. In retrospect perhaps I should have closed my eyes… The first cut was fine, the second cut was ok, the thir… Oh Crap!!
The Good and the Bad and the Ugly truth:
The Good. Bangs make me look a bit like my sister (she is very pretty).
The Bad. I look like my sister’s three year-old was the one holding the scissors and the resulting bang’s were his attempt at making me look like his mom. Have you ever seen a kids drawing of their mom? It’s that good.
The Ugly truth. After a few moments I went down stairs (there wasn’t anything I could do but wait until it grew out and I couldn’t spend that 3 weeks hiding in the bathroom). In the living room my daughter was sitting on the couch and when I walked into the room she looked up and her eyes went right to my poorly hidden forehead. She smirked. She smiled. she asked “did you cut your hair”?. Then bounding and bouncing across the room she passionately implored “can you do mine like yours?!?! I want bangs too! Please can you do mine too?!?!”
We don’t make great decisions when we are working off of our emotions. Even things that might be good and would work out well if done with proper consideration and a measure of patience, can really take a turn for the worse when we do it in a desperate moment of emotional climax. And then there are the things that would never be a good choice that we do because we are “following our hearts” or responding to a way we feel instead of listening to wisdom.
Then we have to deal with the effects of our choice: the bad hair cut, the indigestion, the empty bank account, the alienated friendship or the ill-suited significant other that hurts us more than helps us. Our choices affect how our days and months and years and life turn out. Paying attention to the “why” of our decisions and making sure it is not driven only by how we feel at the moment is a good step towards wiser choices.
Now comes the ugly truth. We are not the only ones who are affected by our choices. There are always other people who will be impacted by the things we do. People who look up to us and want to be like us, people who love us and are hurt by thoughtless words, people who can’t make their bills because we didn’t pay ours. . . . Even as simple as those poor people who have to share a bed with us after we ate that food that we know gives us gas (and that’s no joke… I have a husband who loves chili!)
I’ll get over my haircut (in a few weeks when I stop looking like 13 year-old Leonardo DiCaprio) and out of love for my daughter I will not make her share in my humiliation (a pre-planned and well executed set of bangs might, however, be in order for her). But most importantly I will learn from my mistake as I hope we all will strive to do. I may be competent with a pair of scissors when it comes to my kids hair but it takes a person with a special skill set to cut their own hair. I don’t have that skill set. Lesson learned.
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