For me, Facebook is like crack.
I’m sure I’m not the only one because if I were Mark Zuckerberg wouldn’t have nearly as many friends and there would be major international concern over the new neck disorder that everyone is suffering from that makes them incapable of holding up their own heads.
We all have our own reasons for blocking out everything around us in favor of the cyber connection. Mine is that, as a stay-at-homeschooling-mom, it is my window to the outside world. It is not exactly the real world but there are enough similarities to make it seem real, and enough of what we wish was real to make us like it better sometimes. I say ‘sometimes’ because we all know that there is nothing that can compare to a real connection with a real person who really cares about us. That “sometimes” is when we are looking for an escape which, after all, is what people use crack for, right?
Even as I write this I am switching back and forth to FB in another screen. Of course I am also changing diapers, giving baths, authorizing snacks, breaking up arguments and going through bedtime routines. I guess you could call me a multi-tasker (or “mom” for short). But, as with any other escape, it can quickly start to fill your thoughts until that is what you focus on and pretty soon you have a full-fledged addiction that inhibits your ability to do anything else well.
An addiction doesn’t need to be drugs or alcohol or sex or gambling or any of those widely recognized things that take over and destroy a person's life. It is anything that controls you instead of you controlling it. Money is a big one. T.V., Food, people-pleasing, even self-improvement can become something you serve in order to make yourself better than others or make you feel like you will be worth something eventually.
Unlike crack, most people don’t think of Facebook as harmful and in and of itself, it isn’t. There is nothing wrong with wanting to see pictures of my nephews as they grow or of my brother's new baby girl. There is nothing wrong with staying in touch with my mother who lives oh-so-very-far-away from me. There is something wrong with ignoring my family in order to stay up on everyone else's lives. There is something wrong with losing sleep so I can watch cat videos or gossip about the latest political scandal. So where do I draw the line?
My son told me today I need to stay away from screens for a while because I spend too much time in front of the computer instead of with them and this was hard to hear from my kid because I know there is truth to it. I spend countless hours with them every day in teaching them and feeding them and caring for them but I don’t play as much with them as I used to and that, I’m assuming, is what he meant. I make excuses. I’m feeling older (I know, 30 is not that old, but it starts now) my legs hurt at the end of every day. The floor is not as comfortable as it used to be. Playing pirates or batman or even sidewalk chalk is ten times harder with a baby on your hip. But I could make ways.. Go outside with them while the baby is napping, crawl in the fort and make up stories until my legs give up, watch their circus acts instead of the news feed on my phone... There are ways.
When I get to the place where I am up until 11pm on Facebook and then after finally going to bed I wake up in the morning (6 hours later) and check my Facebook before I even put my glasses on I know I have a problem. When i hear my kid asking me the same question 6 times without processing the information and responding I need to detox. Goodbye Facebook for a little while, I love real life more. We can be “friends” again when I can be responsible about it.
I sound like my mother. I am my mother in many ways. I guess she did something right… or brainwashed me, that’s always an option! Now i’m going to go tell my kids to stop running in the house, and that is not something we eat, and no he cannot use his brother for the put-this-apple-on-your-head-and-i-will-shoot-it-off experiment. I’ve learned responsibility and self-discipline and I must now go forcefully impart it to my children. It should only take 15 to 20 years… unless i figure out the whole brainwashing thing. I think I will go call my mom.
